Sunday, October 18, 2009

Why It Rocks to Be a Nerd Right Now


Stumble Upon Toolbar
Disclaimer: this is just the way I see things and may bear absolutely no resemblance to reality, especially if your self-esteem is attached to the opposite of my opinions.


They say life is more like high school than college. That means the traditionally attractive people, the blond women, the tall dark haired guys, the white people, the jock are the winners.

However, a couple things are different right now in the U.S., given the recession, the Internet, the real estate market, and the global market shift, it's now cooler to be a nerd than it ever has been.


And really, I'm talking about a specific kind of nerd- the internet nerd. Science nerds are still terminally boring. But internet nerds can socialize with other nerds online, and most importantly, they can make loads of money. Conversely, the washed out high school football star is either a struggling real estate agent or stuck in a stifling corporate bureacracy that threatens to fire him anyday given what's going on with the economy.

The most important things to prove you're a winner in our society are:
  • Status
  • Power
  • Money
  • Attraction to by the opposite sex or by whatever gender or species or phylum of animal you wish liked you
Internet Nerds with Status
I find that being an internet expert gives me quite a bit of status, considering how much money it can make people- people with money want to know how to keep their money and make more money.

This gives me almost enough status to balance out being only 5'6", which is one genetic issue I'll never be able to get around. LOL. Being funny helps too. And being married to an awesome woman (who despite what she says is shorter than me. Altho that means when she wears heels, so do I).


Internet Nerds with Power
The aforementioned status puts you in front of people of power, creates relationships with them, and then if you're not a completely social failure, you gain some of that power as well. If you are hopelessly bitter or autistic, however, you won't make a connection. Still, people who aren't total failures at management will gain that kind of power eventually in a company, since they have to teach and manage other people to be little Internet Nerd copies of themselves in order to make the powerful people more money.

Internet Nerds with Money
There are all kinds of nerds who have made and are making money online- way more than your average ex-high-school-jock would approve of. And studies show that people like money. And women like money. So the Internet has seriously increased the chances of the average nerd getting with a hot woman for real, not just in his imagination.

As far as getting paid in the corporate environment goes, if as a nerd you are afraid of confrontation, you'd better get over it, or the powerful money people will take advantage of you and not pay you what you deserve. Compare salaries on Indeed.com and learn how to be assertive (not aggressive or passive aggressive). Go to toastmasters and learn how to talk to people you disagree with without getting so angry that you alienate people. Then you can get a raise.

Internet Nerds Actually Having Real Sex and Relationships
Now, I think the most important thing really is finding the right person and sticking with them. It's not about getting laid, though if you missed out on that as a nerd in college, you might have something to prove to yourself for a while, and if you don't end up with an STD, you might be ok and still have a chance to get right with the Lord.

On the other hand, the simple facts are: women like confident men who have money. The looks of the mate are 4 times more important to men than women. Sure, it helps to be tall and skinny- but even I at 5'6" have enough confidence, humor, intelligence, etc. to get a hottie, and you can too.


For sure, a lot of women are superficial about this, and in their 20's they'll let these things lead them into relationships with guys they won't like so much in their 40's... they should take a lesson from what women in their 40's look for- but that's another topic. Suffice to say that if you have money and a sense of humor, and you aren't really ugly or some ridiculously short height like 5'5" (those guys are SO SHORT!) then you can get a great girl. Just don't settle- keep looking for the one that really sees your brilliance, the one that makes you feel loved.

And if you're a nerdy girl, well... it's easier for girls, isn't it?

Because of the Internet, Nerds are happier now than at any other time in history. GUAR-AUN-TEED.

Friday, October 2, 2009

How to Be a Social Media Guru: 7 Easy Steps!


Stumble Upon Toolbar
It's very simple.
  1. Shave your head bald.
  2. Buy glasses and dark clothing. No collars. Extra points for thin black wool sweaters
  3. Be likeable or serious. Choose one. If you choose likeable, suck up to everyone. If you choose serious, be arrogant and piss people off on purpose (and lose your sense of humor if you have any).
  4. Talk about "conversations" a lot.
  5. Read a lot of social media blogs and then write good blog posts regurgitating the same ideas.
  6. Pretend you're successful.
  7. Speak at conferences.
Do these 7 steps, and I guarantee you will be perceived as a social media guru in no time!